Pringle Technology

Much to my amazement, it's been brought to my attention that there exist are a great number of folks wholly unfamiliar with the proper method of eating Pringles chips, even though they've been around since, what? The 70's? (take a look at their 70's hairstyle logo, recently updated to be more 'hip.')



Believe it or not, there is a right and wrong way of doing this - assuming, of course, that your purpose for eating the nutritionally useless 'food' is nothing other than satisfying your taste buds. Hunger and boredom do not count.



It's a poorly kept secret that snack companies are cheap bastards, and, as a result, they tend to skimp on anything they can (don't be a hater - you would, too). If you carefully examine any chip-like snack, you'll likely notice that the flavoring on most are not distributed equally.

In fact, quite frequently only one side is covered with the flavoring at all, requiring chip-like snack aficionados to examine both sides of each chip-like snack prior to eating. This allows one to place the well-coated side face down on the tongue and maximize the chip-like snack's tasty sensations.



Luckily, Pringles take care of this problem for us: They have readily distinguishable sides, and always have the flavor-coating on one. Their choice of sides, however, is ergonomically unfortunate. For some S&M-like reason, they felt it necessary to put the flavoring on the side of the chip that is the most difficult for one's tongue to access.

So if you want to get the benefit of the flavoring (and taste something other than "Original Flavor" which is a waste of space), then you have to flip the thing to it's least convenient entry arrangement, and try not to stab the roof of your mouth with the sharp edges as it cracks into a million little shards of yummy. This, combined with the already hazardous packaging, leads some to believe they employed Al Qaeda in their QC department.

Such are the sacrifices we must make for our taste buds.

Hi everyone - the Greenland games are this Saturday! I hope you're all as excited as I am, because it's going to be awesome! Here's why:

1. We're slated to have at least five clans of four Scott-people each for some serious Scottish competition (but likely 8 or 10 clans!).
2. We have an awesome venue at the Little Harbor School in Portsmouth - rain or shine because of the school's gym!
3. We've got some new games this year including ultimate frisbee, a t-shirt making contest (make 'em before you get there! See below), and the constant ability to earn more points for your clan by showing Clan Spirit, thinking out of the box, showing your Scottish enthusiasm, or just plain making people laugh!
4. An official-looking website: www.greenlandgames.org! How cool is that?
5. Awards! I'm not sure what they are, just yet, but they'll be cool and you'll want them. Trust me.
6. You get to throw a caber! It's a smallish one, so it's feasible, but still really cool!

So I hope you all can make it. Let me know if you have any questions, and be sure to read The Rules below, and what you should bring!

Logistics:

• Time: 10am, June 27th
• Place: Little Harbor School, Portsmouth, NH
• Lunch: 1pm-ish - Bring $5 to pitch in! We'll probably do pizza or something! Or you can walk 5 minutes to the center of Portsmouth and get some culture.
• Awards Ceremony: 6pm-ish
• After-Party: Portsmouth is a stone's throw away, and Pints await!
• Morning After-Party - I want Waffles. Any one else want to go?

The Rules:

• No Alcohol (until afterwards - see below)
• Scottish Garb: Definitely Wear anything stereotypically (or authentically) Scottish to pay homage to our inspiration (points!).
• Be respectful of the venue - we're really lucky to be able to hold the games at Little Harbor School!
• Be awesome - I mean, you'll be attending, so it's difficult not to be. But I'm just sayin'
• All disputes: Will be settled by me. Period.

Points, Clans and the like:

• Winner - 3 points
• Runner Up - 1 point
• Points can be awarded for a good number of reasons. The only ones you can count on being doled out are those winnable through the games. More will be given for things like clan spirit, thinking out of the box, showing your Scottish enthusiasm, or just plain making people laugh! These points will be
• Clans will be assembled randomly (or by William The Great - You don't get to choose your actual siblings, do you?)
• Clans will come up with their own names, however
• Clans will select a tartan (or you can bring your own)
• List of Games can be found at www.greenlandgames.org

To Bring

• Sun Screen
• Water
• $5 for lunch
• Scottish Garb if ya Got It
• Your 'A-Game'
• A T-Shirt of your own creation - You'll earn big points for this! We'll all be voting on them for the following categories: Coolest; Scottish-ness; Most Usable as a design for next year.

See you there! And throw me an email or call if you have any questions!

Bill

Photo Exhibit - Call for submissions from non-professionals!

Hey all, 

If you've taken any pictures that you think represent the Seacoast area well, you should submit them to the Seacoast Local Festival's Photo Exhibit. You can do that right here: 

http://www.seacoastlocalphoto.org

It's intended for anyone and everyone to contribute, so even if you don't think you're all professional, it doesn't matter - submit what you got that you think is cool! You get a free entry into the Seacoast Local Festival Raffle, too, with your submission! Don't know what the prizes are yet, but I'm sure they'll be pretty cool. 

The festival itself is on June 6th! If you're looking for something to do for a little while in downtown Portsmouth that day, it's free and supports your local community! And please feel free to forward this to anyone you think might be interested!

Hope to see you there, or at least your photos!

Bill

--
William Sprecher Hurd III
http://www.speakingphotography.com
wsh@speakingphotography.com
603.674.4715

Greenland Games 2009 - June 27th at Little Harbor School in Portsmouth, NH

Hey all, 

So The Greenland Games are upon us once again, and I hope you can make it. If you didn't catch the date from the subject line, it's 

June 27th, 2009, 10am  at the Little Harbor School in Portsmouth, NH. 

This new location will afford us a great many advantages over Raymond including access to downtown Portsmouth for eats and after-parties. 

There will, once again, be ribbons for placing in events, and actual prizes! I'll be updating the website (still http://www.9green.us) with the events we'll have and other important info, so stay tuned, and feel free to email me with questions. I'll probably send out one more email as the date approaches. Oh, and please feel free to bring (non-psycho) friends and forward this on to those folks I've somehow omitted. 

Can't wait to see you all there!

Bill

--
William Sprecher Hurd III
http://www.speakingphotography.com
wsh@speakingphotography.com
603.674.4715

Summer Rules of the Road

My diesel Jetta was just donned with a brand new set of W-rated Ultra High Performance summer tires, and I'm stoked for another summer of spirited driving.

Regretfully, I am reminded almost daily of the inadequate atempts made by the NH DMV to prepare drivers for the road. My desire for good, safe and spirited driving experiences are often thwarted by the unfortunate and unwashed masses that have somehow obtained driver’s licenses.

...how?

Toward the end of improving this dismal situation, I've added to, and elaborated on, last year's Rules of the Road. This is still not a complete list, not an in any way an official list, and it is *possible* that it could contain flaws (however unlikely). So please feel free to give feedback or suggestions additions. I’m always looking to improve my driving.

I'm also very interested in knowing how many of the rules you personally already follow and what you don't - so keep track as you read, and let me know.

General Principles:

1. Anything that obstructs the flow of traffic is the enemy - Don’t be the enemy.


2. Blinkers are notifications of intention - *Use Them.*


3. Be *aware* of your surroundings pertinent to driving at all times.


4. Let faster vehicles pass (particularly on the highway; see Specific Rules #4 and #8)
   
5. Know Thyself (and thy vehicle) - know what you and your vehicle are capable of. For instance, blind spots, realistic and safe cornering speeds. My father once told me that in racing, you don’t know the limits of your abilities or your vehicle until you spin out off course. Though this method of determining these limits is inadvisable on normal roads, having a good idea of what they are will make you a much safer, more effective driver.


6. Stay on PAR - Predict, Anticipate, React - Unless you’re strong with the force, you’ll need to predict the actions of others on the road, and anticipate what you’ll need to navigate through it safely and efficiently, and act upon it. The sign of a good driver is the ability to predict and anticipate traffic patterns and properly react to them, while conversely, the sign of a poor driver is the inability to do the like.


7. Be Courteous - The all-important wave or nod to those who might either help you, or let you pass is very important

Specific Rules:

1. Blinker Before Brake - The purpose of a blinker is to provide notification of intention, not notification of what you’re *already doing*. Any change in traffic patterns (particularly unexpected ones) need to be relayed to other motorists *before* they occur, because it’s not always possible to divine lane changes from driving behavior.


2. Move Over for Mergers - This is a no-brainer. If there’s an empty lane to your left while someone is merging, *go there.* It helps mergers dramatically, and helps avoid you trading paint…
   
3. Right-Turn Break-Down Lane use - Get Out of the Way When Turning - Use breakdown lane 50(ish) feet before turning onto a minor road if possible. This allows motorists behind you to continue without needing to slow down dramatically (or stop) to get by you safely.


4. No Two-Lane Convoys – This is a specific instance General Principle #5: On highways with two or more lanes, matching the speed of a car beside you is *only* acceptable if there is no car behind you trying to get by. Don’t make decisions for other people, particularly when their foot is to the floor, and your bumper is on the chopping block.


5. Space at a Stop - When at a red traffic light or stop sign, leave sufficient space between your vehicle and the vehicle in front in case you need to pull out and go around it. This also helps keep your bumper clean in case someone mistakes the ‘R’ for the ‘D,’ or is new to the idea of a ‘hill-start.’


6. Go at Green - In keeping with General Principle # 1, your main goal when a traffic light turns from red to green, is to get on through… As such, take your foot off the brake as soon as the light turns green. The sooner you are rolling, the sooner the person behind you can get rolling and so on. This drastically reduces the chances that drivers will ‘miss the green,’ and gets you out of the intersection quicker. It is true, you may need to re-apply the brake if the driver in front of you is slow on the uptake, but this shouldn’t be a problem if you’ve left adequate space between you and the vehicle in front of you.


7. Right of Way - Do Not surrender the right of way. Rights of way are specifically designed for safety and efficiency, so when you think you’re being nice, you’re very likely causing more harm than good because you are doing something other than what other drivers expect you to do.


8. Keep Right Except To Pass - This I cannot stress enough. It's probably the thing that bothers me most about other drivers. Essentially it prevents instances of #4, above. Traffic will flow faster, you won't cause road rage (as much, at least), and you'll reduce your chances of getting rear-ended at high speeds. Essentially, GTFO of the way.

Safety Tips:

1. Brake Hover when entering unfamiliar or confusing traffic patterns - This dramatically improves reaction time if you need to stop or slow down.


2. Use your rear-view mirror heavilly when making left turns to minor roads in case on-coming traffic hasn’t noticed you. If this happens, floor it to reduce impact.


3. Keep your wheels straight at intersections - if you are rear-ended and your car is pushed into an intersection, having your wheels pointed anywhere but straight could allow your vehicle to roll directly into traffic instead of out of harm’s way.


4. On-Ramp are for Acceleration - On-ramps are specifically designed to to allow drivers to match the speed of vehicles already on the highway. Use the break-down lane if you have to, but for the love of god, do not stop. Stopping in the on-ramp is not only dangerous for you (because your non-Ferrari probably doesn't have the sack to go ought to sixty in less than 8 seconds, and another vehicle is very likely to don your car with a new bumper), but dangerous for those around you because they, too, need to pick up speed and expect you to .


5. Fuzzy Dice Are Evil - And that goes for your fancy Nav devices, too! Today's vehicles already have trouble enough with blindspots and low visibility, and anything that further obstructs your view to that which can kill you, or be killed by you is, well, a bad thing. As a driver, you want to have the best possible view of your surroundings so as to make the best possible driving decisions. So ditch the damned fuzzy dice, and throw away any suction cups that came with anything intended for the interior of your car (with the possible exception of those baby screen thingies - gotta keep baby cool!).


6. Shoulder Jerk - if your wheels accidentally go off the road and into the shoulder, your vehicle may pull forcefully to the right. Resist the temptation to jerk the wheel to the left, as this can easily deliver you to on-coming traffic.


7. "If You Spin, Both Feet In... Maybe." Here's a good write-up on the current state of the famous racer's adage. Most of us 'normal' folk have front-wheel driven cars and so might consider abandoning this line of thinking preferring to allow the front drive wheels to pull the car in the direction you want to go (eventually). However, ABS and Traction Control are marvelous things, and could very likely right your car - so if you've got ABS, traction control and a front-wheel driven car, I'd still go with the both feet in - just be ready to take control back if those modern conveniences work, cuz man, stuff happens fast at those speeds!

Winter Rules:

1. Increase Stopping Distances - if you didn’t know this… oy.


2. Avoid Engine Braking - using the engine to slow down a vehicle when conditions are slippery is dangerous because four wheels with ABS (braking) provide more stopping power than two wheels without ABS (engine braking). It is also not a good idea when you are racing (see Heel-and-Toe) This is fine in the summer, though... if you're not in a rush.
   


3. When sliding, let off the accelerator and point the wheels in the direction you want to go.

New Cube Sign

FYI - A Woman's Age

Just a quick tip for all the naive men out there who who are unfortunate enough to believe they should give an honest answer when a woman asks him to guess her age.

Just to be clear: the correct answer to this question is *always* 29 (or less if you think she could actually *be* 29).

By the way, if your girl looks like the one on the left, you may want to dispense with the guessing and ask for an ID...

New Rule, World.

It took me a while, but I've finally warmed up to this whole mobile-phone-texting phenomenon. It was off to a bad start, in my not so humble opinion, being primarily used by giggly mall-going teens huddled together around their first taste of adult technology, they misused it as best they could, in proper teeny-bopper fashion.

But it has now crept its way into polite society as a relatively acceptable form of modern communication, even though it can still very easily earn the contempt we've all had for that obnoxious "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" ring tone interrupting Iron Man on the big screen. So it's still on shaky social ground and, because I use it rather frequently now, I find it necessary to further solidify it's acceptance in our culture.

To that end, as with any 'grown-up' habit, our use ought be guided by rules of etiquette so as not to damage further its public image, the first of which I shall now suggest in a relatively loquacious, pompous manner per my usual modus operandi:

How many times have you had a complete conversation via texting on your mobile? Why don't you just call? Well, sometimes you should - the trick is knowing when because texting conversations can quickly become ridiculous and painfully circuitous. The advantages melt away, and your thumbs get callouses.

But how do we know when this threshold is met? When should we simply dispense with the bloody texting and have a good old-fashioned cell-phone conversation? We must first understand better the nature of texting and why we (or at least I) find it so useful (read: addictive).

The chief advantage of texting is it's ability to convey conversational information in a time-delay insensitive manner. Additionally, given the complete monopolization of the 3 cm screen by the incoming message, you're pretty much guaranteed that your recipient will get it, unless they're either blind (and I'm sure they'll come out with a brail phone soon), or 'out of service' which is phone-speak for their just not wanting to talk to you. One last advantage still worthy of note, is that we can dispense with the normal social pleasantries annoyingly required of normal conversation, like "hello," and other useless, implicit chunks of wrapper data used to soften the blow of critical information such as "Dad, what's the number for the wrecker?" It lets us get to the point and get on with what's important - something this blog doesn't really fancy doing.

So back to the point - as I say, these advantages quickly melt away after several volleys of text. So unless there's no social reason not to (like if you're texting a hottie you just met and social etiquette demands aloofness), one party should simply call the other after 4 volleys transpire in under 5 minutes.

More clearly: After four or more volleys of text within the span of 5 minutes, you are required to call that person immediately and be done with it already.

Time will be saved, the life-span of your phones buttons will be extended, and you'll be less likely to get those nasty thumb callouses...