Magnanimous Condescension

Times are tough, this Christmas, so I've decided to give a very special (read inexpensive) gift not only to those close to me, but, in a fit of magnanimity, to anyone reading this blog. I've always been a generous person, but this, admittedly, is stretching things a bit as I've never given such a gift before, and, it seems, few others have either. The best part? It's free. The other best part? It helps the world annoy me less. And the bestest best part? It's condescendingly funny.

So what is this magnanimous, condescendingly awesome Christmas Gift I'm about to give you, yet costs nothing but your pride to accept?

Adverbs. Lots of them.

Yes, those remarkably helpful little grammatical parts of speech that tell your interlocutors that you're modifying a verb instead of a noun (or maybe clauses, adjectives and sometimes adverbial phrases). They're real, useful, and make you look like less of a nit-wit when you speak. They're also really useful, and if you can distinguish the meaning of the beginning of this sentence and its predecessor, I guess I'll just have to get you something else this year. Email to let me know.

For the rest of you... you real [sic] annoy me... But Merry Christmas all the same. 

Web 2.0 - "What's it really mean, anyway?" And Why Josh Catone is Right That We Should Ankle It.

Web 2.0 - "What's it really mean, anyway?" and why Josh Catone is Right That We Should Ankle It.

The below referenced article captures well my reasons for being so apprehensive in using the term. It's always been rather trendy, vague, and therefore vacuous term, but it remains very popular for reasons I hadn't really realized until today. So here's my little definition of Web 2.0 to add to the existing millions of non-consensed tries already provided on the web. (I mean, what's one more?) 

Explanation: It's a term that really reflects economic liveliness in the web industry rather than any technological technique or advancement. It's just a name given to another economic bubble that has to do with one of the newest industries out there. The economy allowed for increased investment in web-stuff and thereby new cool developments and rapid maturity resulted. 

Web 1.0 - everything from 1995 'til the bubble burst in late 2000. 

 - "Whoa - this inter-web thing is going to change EVERYTHING! We don't know how to make money on it yet, but where's my venture capital?!?"

Web 2.0 - From the time we were saved from the 'internet bubble' (by the 'housing bubble') 'til when the 'Big Three' went belly-up.

 - "Whoa - look at nifty little thing I've been working on in my mom's basement for the last 5 years! You think existing large companies would be able to use it for something?"

Web x.x - the next economic upturn where people's interests turn back to frivolous niceties from subsistence living 

 - "Whoa - large corporations own everything, but at least I can live my life inside the computer while my body eats this nutrition glop from a straw! What's Briney up to now?!?"

But really, just follow the investment - I bet you'll find (and I'm really just assuming here) that the peak or plateau of each will match the peak or plateau of these vacuous, trendily named tech eras. 

The Inspiring Article:

http://www.sitepoint.com/blogs/2008/12/17/the-day-web-20-died/

Ok, maybe not tragedy proper. Or at least on a scale of tragedies where 1 is slightly stubbing your toe on the cat and 10 is the sun exploding, this would be like a 2. Maybe a 3.

The pavement cracked my iPhone screen (I had very little to do with the whole affair - I mean, really - how can I be responsible for the pavement's actions?).

Now affectionately (and more accurately) dubbed the iCrack, the tough little device didn't have the decency to give me an excuse to get a brand new 3G - the damned thing still works fine! Aside from some rather opaque sections of screen, the iCrack is entirely functional as if nothing had happened. I did put some clear tape over the screen to prevent my face from acquiring glass inserts, but this has had no affect on performance, and I've found no area on the screen that is at all insensitive to touch. Still, though - it's damned annoying, and I constantly expect it to die at any moment.

Apple said it would cost me $200 to repair. $400 for a 3G (since I'm only 13 months into my contract), and $500 for the good 3G iPhone.

Looks like I'll be putting up with it for a while...

That said, I must admit that I'm taking this fairly well. I remember remarking that it is not the sort of thing about which I want to get upset. Or rather, I want not to get upset about such things. It's just a thing. It's only tragic in a hipster, khaki-wearing, yuppy-tastic way.